Large Hard-On Collider!

i feel cheated.


So, despite the combined brain efforts of billions of fucktard boffins and the pissing up against a wall of literally thousands of dollar (or was it the other way around? The finer details are already sketchy to me) the mighty Death Metallic Colander sucked and we have failed yet again to destroy man’s oldest nemesis; the Earth.
It was all just a bunch of bullshit wasn't it?
The egg headed ones promised that mibee, ‘round about 8.30am this morning, when the Metallic Machine (in reality just the world’s longest torch) was switched on we would all be cataclysmicaly sucked off into another, better dimension.
And we weren't.
Not even a wee bit.
What a pisser.
It was even predicted by some of the more enlightened boffins, that when the promised black hole was conjured up we’d all have roughly eight to ten minutes before our eyeballs were sucked through our pulsing bodies and out our collective cocks, draining us away down a cosmic space plug hole for ever. I forget the actual physics.
Some even put forward the proposition that, mibee, those last ten minutes would wind strangely back on themselves, like a snake swallowing it’s own tail, and we’d be forced to repeat those final moments over and over and over again. To infinity, and beyond, I believe was the time scale quoted, though I may have dreamed that part.

So, I got to thinking, and came up with 2 questions.

1) In an ideal (end of the) world, how would you like to spend those remaining/ever repeating final last 10 minutes?

And

B) In actual real reality, how did you spend them?

Me? I took a nice, if rather large shit and thunk up all this old bollocks.

And failed, once again, to be sucked off.